Saturday, November 29, 2008

Wrong On Some Details, Correct In Essence

I have started the laborious process of going back through my archives for this year, checking for the rare gem and the quite-frequent clunker, and right there on the very first day of 2008, I managed, in the midst of a whole mess of errors, to call the general tone of post-election analysis.

At the time I was leaning towards Edwards, although I really hadn't settled on a preferred Democratic candidate. In essence, I predicted the media would claim that, even the a Democrat had won the Presidency, there would be an emergent narrative that would declare the him a loser of sorts. He would be crippled by ideological battles, by circumstances, by a nation not ready for a Democratic President, etc., etc.

On the very day after Barack Obama won the election, Tom Brokaw started the ball rolling with the invented-from-whole-cloth notion of ours being a "center-right" country (whatever the hell that means). I noted on November 12 that some lefty-types around the internet were declaring the Democratic party defunct in two and four years because Barack Obama inherited a mess from George W. Bush. Mainstream journalists are giggling over other lefty-blogger types who are whining about this or that or the other cabinet choice, noting that the lefty-bloggers feel left out and cheated, thinking they won the election for Obama.

All of this emerging narrative of an embattled President-elect, hampered by ideological struggles within and disastrous conditions without, and the resulting emerging notion that Obama has no chance to govern effectively was predicted, despite a whole mess of details being wrong, by me. In January.

I'm doing the happy dance right now.

Saturday Rock Show

I went, I saw, I bought yesterday two CDs and a live DVD. The CDs were Porcupine Tree's Nil Recurring and Ray LaMontagne's Gossip in the Grain. The concert DVD was Rush's live concert from their Snakes and Arrows tour. Filmed in Holland, it featured the same set list when I saw them on the same tour, in Chicago (well, Tinley Park, really), in September, 2007.

One of the things I really liked about this tour was the deep cuts they pulled out - "Digital Man", "Entre Nous", "Natural Science" - from their older material. And this one, a song easily overlooked, yet so appropriate. "Witch Hunt" is a scathing attack on all forms of mob-like thought, "Those who know what's best for us", as the song says, who "must rise and save us from ourselves" because of the "strangeness" in "our immigrants and infidels", "theaters and bookstore shelves." This clip is from an 80's tour - for the album Grace Under Pressure - but the power of the song shines through the decades.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Words, For Some, Don't Mean Anything At All, Part III

It might just become an on-going series. Where else would it be from?
Personally, if you agree with European leaders, communists, terror-supporting nations, and Dope-dealing Latin-American leaders and hate America as well (because...if you believe that others have a right to hate America then certainly you must hate her too), then you are an enemy of America.

Obviously, if I believe others have a right to think for themselves, then I must be anti-American. Because America isn't about freedom . . .

Oh. Wait.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Words, For Some, Don't Mean Anything At All, Part II

I was going to get ready for work, but on one last go 'round, sending out my Thanksgiving greetings, I happened upon something that made me laugh, cry, vomit, fart, and fall asleep all at the same time. It took Michael Savage a whole bunch of words to rip meaning from the English language. Displaying his keen grasp of Ockham's Razor, Neil manages it in one simple "sentence".
Predictably, the Abortion President is putting together a seriously anti-life, anti-family Cabinet.

As compared to a lame duck responsible for many deaths in war, in federal executions, in the hungry and homeless here in America, and the dying abroad from lack of access to our many resources, including simple things like medicines to help stave off childhood diarrhea and malaria.

Obviously, a man with a happy marriage and two beautiful children is anti-family. Because they are all black.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope it goes without saying that I will be computer-free tomorrow, due to a whole bunch of relatives, something about turkey, and then a night of getting ready for the biggest bunch of crazy people . . . I mean the biggest shopping day of the year (here's hoping, anyway).

To all and each and every person who visits this site, whether it's your first time, or you come here every day to peruse my words of wisdom (cough!cough!) I wish a very Happy Thanksgiving. Maybe, on Friday, exhausted from work, more turkey, and anticipating a weekend recovery, we can get back to our regularly scheduled program, eh?


What the hell is going on in India's movie capital?

Eternal Mysteries

Like the whole chicken-egg thing, or whether or not a tree falling in a blah-blah-blah, one of the great mysteries for which there may never be an answer is how Glenn Reynolds gets so many people to read him. I have only read his stuff that other people comment upon, and I refuse to link to him, if for no other reason than I don't want anyone that stupid to know I exist, but I gleaned the following from someone who does pay attention:
I feel a little sorry for Martin Luther King — his enormous accomplishments got less attention than they deserved because of the cult of Malcolm X, and now he’s being eclipsed by Barack Obama.

When one thinks of all the chance occurrences in time and history that led to his conception, birth, education, and all the little decisions that led to him typing that particular sentence, and it makes one want to drive off a cliff.

With his house at the bottom.

Correct Again

I've said it and said it, and still people worry. Today, though, we heard it from the man himself.
It would be surprising if I selected a Treasury secretary who had had no connection with the last Democratic administration because that would mean the person had no experience in Washington whatsoever. And I suspect you would be troubled and the American people would be troubled if I selected a Treasury secretary or a chairman of the National Economic Council…who had no experience whatsoever.


But understand where the vision for change comes from first and foremost. It comes from me. That’s my job — is to provide a vision in terms of where we are going and to make sure that my team is implementing it.

Since I'm now, officially, more right than Bill Kirstol has ever been in his entire pundit career, can I get a slot on the Times op-ed page?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Giving Thanks In Dark Places

The title of this post was also the title of Lisa's sermon from the Thanksgiving service tonight at church. 1 Thessalonians and Acts 16 were called in to service. The first has Paul's admonition to pray without ceasing and give thanks in all things. The second is the story of Paul and Silas in prison, after having been beaten and put in stocks, sitting in their cell, singing hymns and praising God.

The service was wonderful, and fed me, spiritually, as well as forcing me to think about all sorts of things that made me uncomfortable, and see things in a new light. I am so pampered. I have a home, a family that is a greater blessing than I could ever have imagined. I am gainfully employed (for now), and am anticipating a wonderful Thanksgiving surrounded by my wife's family, with a table overflowing with food and conversation and laughter. I am healthy, almost robustly so, in better physical condition than when I was a high school athlete (too long ago to think about). I have good friends, a church family that is one of the most open, loving, giving communities imaginable. All that I could imagine complaining about is so small compared to the many blessings of a good God.

Yet, complain I do, and usually content myself that, in so doing, I am only being human, nothing wrong with that. Except, of course, my complaints are a kind of spiritual forgetfulness, aren't they? They are, in a sense, a desire to want more. More comfort, have things go my way more. They are nothing more or less than attempts to make myself the center of action and attention. In reality, I have nothing at all to complain about; I am blessed beyond measure, and certainly beyond dessert, and should be thankful for all I have.

There is a deeper lesson here, for all of us. We have, all of us, desired so much more. More stuff, more freedom from the burdens of responsibility to our neighbors and communities. We would prefer the world understand us, rather than seek to understand others. We much prefer to be loved than to love. In the crush and pressure and stress not just of everyday life, but of our particular historical moment, we forget the many, many ways we have all been blessed, and how much of what we take for granted is nothing but dross, brands that should be plucked for burning. Our lives would be just as full if all that were gone in a flash, because we might then recall that it is God alone upon whom we should rely.

So, the irony is, it seems, that where there is faith, there are no dark places. . .

Words, For Some, Really Don't Mean Anything At All

Since we're talking about "rational", I thought I'd offer a perspective from Weiner World:
On his radio show, Michael Savage said of the United States: "[S]ocially, we're far worse -- more degenerate than Weimar Germany. At least in Weimar Germany, men couldn't marry men and women couldn't marry women. So we're probably 10 leagues below the degeneracy that brought about Hitler. We're probably 50 leagues below the degeneracy that brought about Hitler. We are the sickest, most disgusting country on the earth."

Obviously, the Weiner hates America. Yet, one needs to ask. Do any of these words, put together the way Savage has done, actually have any meaning in English? I'm at a loss.

A good question might be, if we are truly the sickest of nations, since conservatives have been in charge for so long, isn't it kind of their fault that we are so degenerate?

That, of course, assumes there's a reason to treat this vomitous mass of words as if they meant something. It also assumes the person who spewed them was worthy of anything more than ridicule. I only highlight it because this guy has a radio program that people listen to. If I had heard this, I would probably have turned the radio off and sat down and tried to figure out what, exactly, he was saying. After giving up, I would probably drink heavily.

"No Rational Basis"

Expect some to howl.
Today, a Florida judge ruled that the state’s strict law banning the adoption of children by same-sex couples is unconstitutional. Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman rejected the state’s arguments that there is “a supposed dark cloud hovering over homes of homosexuals and their children.” She noted that gay people are allowed to be foster parents, adding, “There is no rational basis to prohibit gay parents from adopting.”

But, there are all sorts of irrational reasons. All rooted in hatred and fear that the gay germ will rub off, say, or that there is something inherently immoral about being gay that precludes them being parents.

No doubt we have not heard the end of this particular issue, but at least for the moment, we have a judge using the word "rational" correctly.

A Fun Meme

DCup managed to tag-without-tagging (it's a Zen thing; you wouldn't understand) on a Name Meme that is quite fun.

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names): Lee Bird
2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad): Eugene George
3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name): Rdgeof, or maybe R'd'Geof (pretty clunky, huh?)
4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal): Green Koatamundi (even clunkier!)
5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live): Stephen Poplar (I left off the grove)
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add “THE” to the beginning): Blue Guinness Stout (actually sounds like a reason someone became ill)
7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Gerd (please add "your loins" if you wish)
8. GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie): Vanilla Iced Sugar - which, all things considered, would be the kind of rap I'd do . . .
9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet’s name, current street name): Dreyfus Bree (Or, I could use our cat's name, but "Patch Bree" just isn't, you know, hot and all boss; what young woman would toss her panties on the stage to some guy named "Patch Bree"?)
10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on): Aaron Orange (I had to use our second pet, because our first dog when I was a kid, was named Lady, and "Lady Orange" just wouldn't do for me . . .)

I don't tag, so I'll just let you do it if you wish, because this was a whole lot of fun.

Monday, November 24, 2008

An Extra Music Post . . . Just Because

DCup featured a song by Ray LaMontagne today, and sitting and listening to it, I just felt the need. When I first heard him on PRI's "World Cafe" a few years back, right after the release of Trouble, I was absolutely blown away. The first time I heard "Shelter" and I knew there was something transcendent about this man. He is on his third "official" release, and his sound has morphed slightly from the rough six-string sounds of 60's folk music to the rough, gritty horn sounds of the Stax/Volt/Muscle Shoals sound, especially in records made for Dusty Springfield and Aretha Franklin. Yet, punching through the sound is the voice and the words - direct, stripped bare of artifice and pretense. This is art and poetry and music as it should be. If you haven't heard him yet, please listen. If you have heard him, and have yet to realize what a gift he has, and is sharing with the world, I urge you to listen again.

From a BBC session, this is an extended version of "Shelter/Hold You In My Arms"

When all of this around us falls over
Tell you what we're gonna do
You will shelter me, my love,
And I will shelter you.

The first track off Until The Sun Turns Black, "Be Here Now"

From his latest release, Gossip In The Grain, this is "You Are The Best Thing"

Marx Is Right After All, About Some Things

Watching the unfolding implosion of the American economy, while leaving one with the nagging fear that there is no bottom in sight yet, nevertheless gives some a reason to reconsider a basic tenet of classical Marxist philosophy. Marx taught that at the heart of capitalism was a contradiction so fundamental, it would end up destroying itself. It could be summed up in an ethical epigram - Private vice does not lead to public virtue. Marx correctly diagnosed that at the heart of the capitalist system is not "self-interest" in some grand, ethical way, but greed. The pursuit of maximum profit at the lowest possible cost. Impoverish workers, create hazardous work environments, destroy the environment and you have a competitive advantage over your competitor. Monopoly capitalism goes even further, as several large firms conspire to do all this together.

We are witnessing this in action even as we speak. Unlike one idiot's claim, it isn't global warming advocates who are destroying capitalism. It is the boosters of unregulated financial markets who managed it. Members of Congress, members of various Executive Branch departments, their cheerleaders in the media and academia and right-wing think tanks - these folks led the charge to let the markets do what they do best, and we are living with the results.

These same people demanded that government get out of the way. It did. We have been told, ever since the heady days of Ronald Reagan that government is the problem; Rush Limbaugh used to claim that there is no evidence any government program ever worked. All we needed to do was loose the shackles holding back markets and we would enter the gates of paradise, all of us wealthy beyond our dreams of avarice. Now, of course, as we lose our jobs, our homes, our sense of economic and financial security, everyone is scrambling for help. The first in line, of course, are those very same large firms that clamored the loudest for the state and its machinery to remove itself from the path to glory, hands out like Oliver Twist. More than any other reason, this is the reason for my own spiteful "Nein!" to these greedy merchants of economic destruction. You wanted it this way; all the "naysayers" said this would be the result, and you insisted it just couldn't be so, so you should just take the consequences of your stupid insistence that you wouldn't screw things up.

While I do not believe Marx was correct in his prescription - revolution makes things so much worse - especially since the remarkable success of various levels of social democracies in mitigating the social consequences of capitalism's destructive tendencies, I think the heart of his diagnosis is correct. We are living in the midst of it, after all.

Monday Music

Of all years in recent memory, thinking of things for which to be thankful is particularly difficult this year. The economy is tanking. People are losing their homes, their jobs, their savings, their sense of equanimity. There is much unrest and disquiet in the land. A lack of any sense of stability and security is creating a stressful situation in many homes.

Yet, give thanks we should (that sentence should be heard in the voice of Yoda). I do not say "must", because I do not believe "must" is a word God understands. We should be thankful for the blessings, little and big, that surround us even in the midst of our current turmoil and distress. For family and friends, neighbors far and near. We should be thankful that we are fortunate enough to live in a land with as many opportunities for recovering as we do. We are more than our economic and financial stability and well-being, and we are free, we just held an election that will drastically alter our country, and power will pass peacefully in January 20, 2009. We can praise Allah, offer incense to the goddess, recite the Psalms in Hebrew, or worship the god of many names and faces behind the many masks of Hinduism. We can even refuse to recognize any of it, call it all garbage and bunk and hokum, and yet be thankful. We are Americans, residents of a great land, and we believe that even though our prospects are bleak right now, our future is always brighter than our present, which means we will move on to greater things together. So give thanks, if nothing else, for living in this moment.

"We Gather Together"

"Now Thank We All Our God"

"Praise To The Lord, The Almighty"

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Some Things To Think About As The Week Begins

We are in a situation that, indeed, has a precedent. After being elected in November of 1932, Franklin Roosevelt have four months until he was inaugurated. Those four months were among the worst of the Depression. There was violence in Iowa, Minnesota, and Mississippi. First cities - Chicago was the first to go - then whole states went bankrupt. Herbert Hoover implored the President-elect to jump on board any plan he might have to mitigate the disaster, but Roosevelt did nothing. He demurred at each imploring telegram, each letter entreating him to do or say something. It enraged Hoover, baffled many of FDR's supporters, and sent the country spinning even further out of control. While long on rhetoric, the "New Deal" promises that Roosevelt spoke of during the campaign were, like Obama's talk of hope (at least according to his detractors) short on substance. Roosevelt just sat, his cigarette holder in his teeth, smiling his Cheshire cat smile, and waited until March 4.

As it was seventy-six years ago, so it is now. Now, our current President isn't doing much to address the situation, because he hasn't done much more than create the situation in the first place. I really don't want him "leading" because it will only make matters worse. His Secretary of the Treasury, the face of the Administration's attempts to deal with our current mess, has had little success, if for no other reason than he is attempting to stop a locomotive by standing on the tracks with his arms held out.

According to Josh Marshall, Obama will be introducing his economic team tomorrow morning at a press conference in Chicago. As Crooks and Liars is reporting, it seems Obama is listening to progressives, at least insofar as domestic fiscal policy is concerned. A report by Campaign for America's Future has a great line with which it begins:
America is falling apart. Falling apart, and falling behind.

Previous generations of Americans built interstate highways and transcontinental railroads. Now we sit in traffic.

The report continues directly, countering the decades-long conservative myth that it was private investment and initiative that made America great by citing real history:
Americans from an earlier era pioneered universal primary education and chartered great universities on public land. They enacted the G.I. bill to give the greatest generation the access to college that helped build our modern middle class. Nowadays American students toil in overcrowded classrooms with leaky roofs, while the cost of college soars out of reach.

America grew up investing in its land and its people. Historically, we directed roughly 8 percent of our gross domestic product to long-range investments, and the investment paid off. Now we are down below 4 percent. Our post World War II infrastructure is starting to decay, and we aren’t replacing it. We are lamenting the loss of jobs rather than hiring people to renew and rebuild.

Killing two birds with one stone, Pres.-elect Obama said the following in his weekly video address:
I have already directed my economic team to come up with an Economic Recovery Plan that will mean 2.5 million more jobs by January of 2011 — a plan big enough to meet the challenges we face that I intend to sign soon after taking office. We’ll be working out the details in the weeks ahead, but it will be a two-year, nationwide effort to jumpstart job creation in America and lay the foundation for a strong and growing economy. We’ll put people back to work rebuilding our crumbling roads and bridges, modernizing schools that are failing our children, and building wind farms and solar panels; fuel-efficient cars and the alternative energy technologies that can free us from our dependence on foreign oil and keep our economy competitive in the years ahead.

These aren’t just steps to pull ourselves out of this immediate crisis; these are the long-term investments in our economic future that have been ignored for far too long. And they represent an early down payment on the type of reform my administration will bring to Washington — a government that spends wisely, focuses on what works, and puts the public interest ahead of the same special interests that have come to dominate our politics.

I believe he was as forthright as this because last week, the markets were as volatile as at any point since this whole mess began back in September. While it is true there isn't anything Obama can do between now and January 20 that is of real substance, by announcing a general outline of his plans, he can reassure jittery investors that he seems to know what he is doing.

This is directly related, in many ways, to another issue that has caused some consternation across the political spectrum - the way Obama is assembling his cabinet, and the people he has chosen to fill various offices. I have written about this before and all I have to say is a repeat of what I've said before. Regardless of the individual put in whatever office, this will be Obama's cabinet. They will either carry out the President's policy, or they will find gainful employment elsewhere. Obama, I do believe, is quite sure of what he will do once he takes office. His announcement during his video address yesterday shows that pretty clearly. I think that the people being put in place right now have been told, as politely as possible, that this is Obama's bus, and to ride, they have to follow his rules. Putting various people, whether it's Bill Richardson at Commerce, Hillary Clinton at State, or Timothy Geithner at Treasury, in place may put a reassuring face, or a series of mundane faces, on his cabinet. Unlike other Presidents, however, at least at this particular moment, I think they are all going to play the game Obama's way - regardless of their own preferences; regardless of any ideas of their own - or not play at all.

Matt Yglesias puts it in a slightly different way, but I think the meaning is the same:
Putting reassuring faces on an agenda of ambitious policy change strikes me as dramatically preferable to appointing a lot of liberals whose job is to sell the progressive base on the need to trim and abandon campaign commitments.

Jockeying for jobs is a very important part of life for DC insiders, and I would never deny that I’d strongly prefer to see my various friends and acquaintances get choice positions than see the reverse happen, but in the real world its the policies that matter. If universal health care, a clean energy economy, withdrawal of troops from Iraq, an end to torture, and massive new infrastructure investments are a “center-right” agenda because Tim Geithner is Secretary of Treausry then I’ll take it. The crux of the matter is to keep pressing for the agenda.

This week should be interesting, because last Sunday night, I don't think anyone expected the markets to tumble the way they did. With Citigroup on the verge of implosion, and the debate/discussion over a Detroit bailout still ongoing, this is no time to play around. The moves Obama has made so far have caused consternation and confusion, but I am convinced they are the right moves at this particular moment. We shall see how the markets react to Obama's promise to actually do stuff once he's inaugurated, regardless of the various friendly faces around his cabinet table.

One final note. I think that, while there is nothing the new Congress will be able to do on Obama's announced plan until after the inauguration (it is seated soon after the new year, before the swearing-in), I have no doubt a draft plan will be on the desk of each member of Congress before boxes are unpacked. By the time January 21, 2009 dawns, the legislation will have sponsors, and, unless the Democrats have a death-wish, it will pass, in all likelihood, as quickly as possible.

And The Casualty Lists Mount . . .

One right-wing fantasy that just won't go away is the "War on Christmas". Of all the stupid things to get one's panties in a bunch about, this has to be the dumbest. Yet, it is rearing its ugly head once again as Thanksgiving approaches, meaning Christmas can't be far behind.

Over at Street Prophets, there is a nice run-down on the history of this conflict, which stretches back to those archetypes of the true proto-Americans, the Puritans. Now, it actually goes back even further, to Calvin's Geneva, but it became the special provenance of the United States via the same folks the right-wing celebrate as the true forebears of our Judeo-Christian heritage.
From England the Protestant War on Christmas then crossed the Atlantic, migrating with the Puritans who were fleeing the persecution of their political and theological tendency that followed the overthrow of Cromwellian government, to the New World. Under Puritan rule in the Bay State Colony, Christmas was at one point legally banned for two decades.

In this year of a collapsing economy, and fears of deflation, it seems absurd to insist that we temper our desire to purchase all sorts of gee-gaws, yet some lefties are, indeed, doing that very thing.
Maybe the parents (the decent ones at least) who can't afford to buy toys for their kids this year can explain to the disappointed little tykes that Santa went John Galt this year. Then they can explain to the little parasites that they should be working and creating instead of expecting toys to just be handed to them, and that those visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads are only so much irrational altruistic/collectivist hoo-hah.

On a serious note, I am of two minds about this. I tend to prefer down-playing the whole "gift buying" thing, even with our kids. On the other hand, nothing would be better this Christmas than to get people to indulge in an orgy of consumerism. In fact, it is exactly what we need right now, if for no other reason than to keep the whole building from imploding. On the other hand, since imploring buying as a patriotic duty doesn't quite go along with celebrating the birth of the Savior, I do think there is more than a little cognitive dissonance here. Rest assured, however, that Bill O'Reilly or some other foot soldier on the right will hold up progressive calls to withhold purchases this Christmas as still more evidence in their fact-free shriek over the War on Christmas.

They say war is hell. This one is more Laugh-In.

The Scarlet Letter Revisited

Oliver Willis' website has a newsfeed that covers celebrity-type stuff, fluff pieces, and the occasional T&A photo. I ignore it because I get that kind of thing via People, and In Touch at work, thank you very much. I mean, even a serious person has to keep up with the latest Brad & Angelina news, right?

Anyway, I saw this story, and was both amused and angered enough to highlight it. A school district in New Jersey is trying to fire one of its lunch ladies. You see, Louisa Tuck used to work in porn under the name Crystal Gunns (I was going to copy & paste her photo, but then again, judging by her name, I figured you would get the idea; if you're really interested, click the link and scroll down, because a semi-safe for work photo is there). Retired from the business at age 35 (and isn't it interesting that a woman at her sexual peak, biologically speaking, is too old for sex flicks?), she works as a lunch-hall monitor part time for less than $6,000 a year. Yet, teachers, parents, even the head of the local school board are all horrified at the idea that she is there.

There's a problem, though, and it's called the law.
The Daily Journal reported. “We have no real legal stance or legal right to do anything for two reasons — one, it’s not illegal, and two, it’s not on school time,” Superintendent Charles Ottinger told the newspaper.

Since she isn't even doing porn anymore, I fail to see the relevance of the whole "school time" thing. In any event, the far more important issue is the simple fact that some folks are so enraged about the way someone used to live her life they wish to deny her gainful employment.

Now, of course, an obvious question would be how anyone realized that the lunch lady was also a porn star. It certainly couldn't be that some teachers, or parents, or school board members might have glimpsed her "face" on the small screen. After all, her performance name was "Gunns", so I doubt they saw too much of her face. . .

Seriously, though, whatever one may think of porn, or those who work in adult films, this woman is doing nothing more than helping out part-time at a school. That's it, and that's all. The busybodies who want her gone really need more to do than fast-forward through porn tapes to check out their newest employee.

Virtual Tin Cup

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