So Ted Haggard has been "cured" and is definitely heterosexual. Never mind three years with a male prostitute (not to mention alleged but denied methamphetamine use). Never mind a record of anti-gay statements and work all the while he was servicing a man for money.
Sexual confusion, never explored in youth, repressed through a virulent hatred fed by a bigoted and narrow religious world-view can be explosive. I am a firm believer in the "continuum" theory of human sexual desire, and that all of us, from time to time, might feel an urge to explore avenues we might not normally consider. Usually, this occurs in adolescence, a time when we are figuring out who we are, and trying on new identities as often as we try on new shoes and pants. Unfortunately for Haggard, that outlet was denied him in youth, so once he was an adult with a certain amount of freedom and power, he abused his position to the detriment of his family, his ministry, his honor, his integrity, and potentially his health. I do not doubt that, more than likely, Haggard is primarily or at least preferentially heterosexual. That is not to deny the reality of his gay encounters, it is only to (potentially) place them in some kind of context within his sexual psyche.
As sexual identity is something that cannot be programmed or set (apart from seriously deviant forms, such as pedophilia, bestiality, and other extreme sexual perversions), but is hard-wired into us, I doubt if his time in sexual rehab has changed Haggard's sexual identity one iota. Therefore, to come out and say he is "definitely heterosexual" is a lie. It compounds three years of lying, not just about himself, but about his views concerning gays, gay sexuality, and gay sexual acts.
When Jesus forgave people, he told them to "Go, and sin no more." Apparently the new standard is "Go, and bugger no more, or at least don't admit to it publicly." I do not wonder about the ultimate foregiveness coming from God, as that is not dependent upon anything we human beings do or can do. The question, however, is how seriously we are to take Haggard, taking all these things into consideration, and the insistence that honesty - honesty about ourselves; the integrity that follows from living out truthfully the life God has given us; loving others fully and without condition, including sexual orientation - is necessary in order for acceptance back into the community of faith to take place, I cannot help but feel that Haggard is making a quite public show that is meaningless on its face, and only a useful tool for him to return to his previous seat of power. That makes me sad, because this was an opportunity for real growth, real change, for a real, honest, integral life to emerge from the ashes of the brokenness of Haggard's sin. Unfortunately, he has taken the easy road, a road Jesus himself said was broad, and led straight down (as it were).
While I do not doubt God loves Ted Haggard just as he is, I wonder if Ted Haggard loves Ted Haggard just as he is, sexual confusion and all. Until I hear from Haggard that his sexuality is more complex than "definitely heterosexual", and expresses that reality by working for the full inclusion of gays and lesbians in the life of the society at large, and specifically the church, I withhold any foregiveness I can give, for the simple reason that I do not think he is sorry for what he did. He is sorry he got caught.
The Greek word in the Bible that is often translated "change", referring to a spiritual change is metanoia, quite literally a turning around, a one-hundred-eighty degree turn. It is a complete and utter transformation of a person's life. Haggard has not done that at all. That is why I do not think he is really sorry; he has not changed, he has only said he was confused, won't do it again, and "Hey, I'm straight!" He has learned nothing - not humility, not compassion, not the depths to which human longing can take us if it is not directed properly through a disciplined life - and so I withhold foregiveness and will continue to hold him accountable for his actions, not just in the future, but right now.
Virtual Tin Cup
