Last night I attended a Bible Study at our church, and part of the discussion focussed on the issue of "call". That term has a very specific meaning, coming from the Bible - it refers to God calling individuals to perform certain tasks and functions. As someone who has wrestled much of his adult life with this question - What is God calling me to do? - I can say that it has intense personal emotional, psychological, and spiritual tension in it. The struggle itself can take an enormous toll on a person. Something I have believed since I was a young man, too young to really know what I actually believed about anything, and something that has only been reinforced by learning and experience, is my firm belief that God calls all of us. Even if we aren't Christian. If God calls a person to live the life of a casual agnostic - so be it. If God calls a person to be a devout Hindu - so be it.
In the midst of the discussion, I spoke up and referred to my own experience, which has included wrestling with whether or not to enter the ordained ministry (thankfully for whatever church I may have been appointed to, I realized that was not my calling). I said that, while questioning, and refusing to acknowledge, and running away, and standing in awe, and questioning some more are all valid responses, there comes a point where we need to stop the chatter - in our heads and in prayer - and get on with the business to which God has called us. I specifically referred to the story of Moses encounter with the LORD in the burning bush. In that story, after trying to turn the LORD's call away, and after claiming all sorts of faults that would interfere with fulfilling his call, Moses challenges the LORD for a sign. essentially, he is asking God for credentials, for proof to give to the Hebrews living in Egypt that the god Moses will claim to represent to them is in fact the LORD of their ancestors. The answer the LORD gives is this: Here's your sign, Moses. Bring the people back to this mountain, and I'll tell you what to do next. In other words, stop dithering and looking for excuses and ways to weasel out of this. I have a job for you. Get to work.
That particular passage has always had special meaning for me, because, first, the only guarantee is Divine Presence. While, implicitly from this story perhaps there is also the guarantee of success, in truth that particular bit is more a narrative and theological device than any kind of retroactive promise that we shall succeed at what we are sent forth to do. Unless I missed something somewhere, history isn't over yet, and even temporary success can lead to long-term waffling or even failure. The point of the story, for me, has always been this - being called by God is not about sitting around trying to figure out all the details beforehand, making sure all ducks are lined up, all "i"'s dotted and "t"'s crossed, contracts and pre-nupts signed and vetted to ensure smooth sailing. No, like the apostles sent out by jesus during his lifetime, we go out with nothing on our backs, no promises of success, no money in our wallets, no cars, no cell phones, no blackberries, nothing but trust that God will be with us. Not that God will guarantee our success, not that God will give us a Lexus, not that God will have people falling all over each other to hear each and every syllable and sigh that falls from our lips. There isn't even a guarantee we won't be hindered by sickness and even death. All we have is this assignment, as it were, from God. We are to go out and do it as hard as we can, to the best of our ability. Period, end of story.
That is the Christian life to me. No guarantees. No divine insurance policy. No deus ex machina to pull our chestnuts from whatever fire we may find ourselves in. We are to go out and work and do and, most of all, live. Before and after and in-between all that we can say or think about it, God calls all of us to live our lives to the best of our ability. We are to live humbly, as the prophet Micah says. We are to live lovingly. We are never to presume to have all the answers, because it isn't about being right and having answers. Life is about living, really. To be a Christian is to live in the knowledge that life in all its ins and outs, ups and downs, good times and horrific times, is something precious to God. The act of living is something that God finds very good. To me, that is the Christian life.
Virtual Tin Cup
