Like most American males, I struggle with what it means to be "a real man". On most measures, I fail pretty miserably. I don't hunt. I don't fish, although I keep telling myself I would love to. I am unskilled at using any tools whatsoever. I couldn't even pound a nail straight until I was thirty and had to be taught how by . . . my wife. With the sole exception of fathering children - which hardly ranks up there with building a deck or striking down the fearsome six-point buck threatening our home with destruction - I am pretty much the antithesis of the "typical American man". Shoot, I don't even sit around drinking beer and watching sports (can't imagine a bigger waste of time, in fact).
While I have accepted my shortcomings as a man, I still wish I did at least one of those things we all think of when we think of "men" (although "guy" might be a better word). If for no other reason, then at least I could hold my head high and show the world I have accomplished something "manly".
It is when I come across an article like this from Jules Crittenden as critiqued/torn to shreds by TRex at Fire Dog Lake, that I am actually proud of my "unguyness" (to coin a new word). Of course, we have been treated in recent months to the man-crushes of the right, whether it's Mitt Romney's shoulders, or Fred Thompson's . . . whatever (sometimes it is his voice, sometimes it is just his general bearing and demeanor; I guess laziness is the new studliness). It is often a bit disquieting to read and/or hear supposedly straight men going on and on about the masculine qualities of other men as a publicly attractive feature. Coupled with the eruption of fear over Hillary Clinton's breasts that appeared a couple weeks back ("She has cleavage!") it does make one wonder about "true manliness" . . . I want to make it clear this is not a homophobic observation. More an ironic comment on the strange, counter-intuitive ways of the manly-men of the right.
In any event, the social and cultural construction of manliness in America is so flawed, and so disastrous in its consequences, one wonders why so many men, including myself, struggle with it. Whether it's slaughtering animals for no reason (spare me talk of deer overpopulation) or adding a new wing to the American dream that will be sold within four years (on average) or destroying untold braincells through the combined efforts of beer and FOXSports Channel, there just doesn't seem to be any reason to fret. Who wants to be a real man, when this is what it means?
There is enough evidence in the public realm to more than speculate that the cult of real manliness is as much compensation and veiled homoeroticism - not that there is anything wrong with that! - as it is a cultural critique of the "feminization" of the American male. I would much prefer to be feminized if that means I get to read my books and let real men build my new kitchen than I would want to spend valuable time and energy figuring out how to operate a pneumatic nail gun or memorizing baseball statistics. Of course, if the right really does ever take over, there might be manliness re-education camps, and Lord only knows what might happen in such a testosterone-soaked environment. I mean, we do sort of have that kind of thing already.
It's called "prison". We all know what happens there, don't we?
Virtual Tin Cup
