You know, I am just floored every time I check out that neo-Earth map. It's one thing to consider in some kind of abstract way the possibility that people "around the world" are reading these nonsensical scribblings of mine. It is another thing to see those yellow dots in Canada, Mexico, the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Portugal (Hi, Wind, and I hope, Cristina, too), Spain, Germany, Poland, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, China, South Korea, and Brazil (I saved the best for last; I do so wish to relax on a beach in Rio some day). This list does not include people from across my fair, native land (Pennsylvania), and my country, stretching from California to Maine have all checked in at least once, leaving a small imprint of their visit forever on my map.
When I started this whole blogging thing, one blog and several months ago, I thought I knew what I was going to say without almost no trouble. The problem was, of course, that what my head told me I wanted to say, and what my gut told me I should say were two entirely different things. I have evolved - as all things that wish to survive - and mostly, I think for the good. I spend several hours every day pouring over various links to the right (why else would I have them?), and when something strikes me as interesting or surprising or thought-provoking or funny or outrageous, I take note of it in a little notebook my lovely, loving wife gave me for Christmas, using a "Dad" pen my kids gave me for Father's Day last year. I have been cutting and pasting more and more, but I still take note of the various URL's so I can get the links right.
My wife has one complaint. She thinks if I am to remain true to myself and my original vision, I need to focus more on religion. She made this comment to me last week, and I have been following up on it. I think she is right. I have been a bit caught up in the whole disaster that is the current state of our Executive Branch, and thinking about "what it all means" and all that - and I have neglected the fact that there is a serious Christian element to all this, "this" being my political views. While not neglecting politics (I could not do that and still be me), I will in all likelihood not be posting three times a day on politics, but probably post twice a day, once on politics, once on religion. A third post may be warranted if something untoward arises, but I think that I have to start limiting myself in order to keep some semblance of balance in my life.
I have other ideas in mind for directions I would like to take, but those I am keeping to myself for now. Currently, I am disappointed that I just can't seem to get the energy or interest to post daily over at my other blog, even though God knows I have enough ideas and opinions about music to fill several small volumes; I am delighted that both the site meter and neo-earth give me a glimpse at my visitors, readers, etc. Recently, Duncan has been noting that some bloggers either whine because some of the bigger bloggers, like him, or Kos, or whomever, don't link to them. Others are convinced that they are selling out, becoming part of some conspiracy to keep the little guys down. He posted some good tips for those who wish to make a big splash, and had I the time, energy, and/or inclination I would follow one or more of them. Fortunately or no, I am quite happy with the pace of my traffic, the average time of visits (it shows people are scanning a bit when they come, not just taking a peek and thinking, "Nah"), and my humble status as a very small blogging player in a very huge blogging universe. I am, to be honest, a bit floored by the amount of attention I get now. I think any more would silence me forever (of course, some would say that's a good thing . . .)
I realize this bit of navel-gazing is either redundant or boring, but I think it important to make readers aware of what is going on, why the blog changes the way it has, and what my thought and emotional and other processes are that are at work "behind the scenes" as it were. One thing my fellow bloggers I am sure are aware of, and one thing that few who do not do this fail to realize, is that this is hard work. Seriously - hours sitting and staring at a screen, trying to make sense out of what is mostly nonsense, hours spent away from my beautiful wife of nearly fourteen years and two beautiful children, who nonetheless keep their father company by sitting downstairs with me when they get home from school. That's another thing that I am perhaps too casual about, and that is my identity. The thing is, we all know how easy it is to find an individual's identity, and besides that, I find using my own name shows that I am a bit less afraid of the more, shall we say, less-securely hinged segment of our society. So far, they have left me alone, but I have no doubt one or two may stop by. That is a topic for another day. For now, au revoir, enjoy your weekend (I am currently operating on no sleep since about 5:30 Friday morning, so you can just imagine my own state of mind).
