For Hire!

I just sent the following email:

Mr. Stengel,

With the public announcement of Fareed Zakaria's suspension both from your own publication and CNN, I am writing to offer my services as a replacement columnist.  Having written daily on my web log, "What's Left In The Church", for over six and a half years, without ever once writing anything not my own words without attribution, I believe I come fully qualified not only as having proved I can produce the work required.  I can do so without any fear I might be yet another mainstream journalist/commentator caught in the plagiarism trap.

Hiring a blogger would also reduce your costs, as I would work for far less than I am sure you paid Mr. Zakaria.  Needing only to produce a single piece of writing once a week, I believe an initial fee of $100 per column would be more than adequate compensation.  That would, of course, be subject to review based upon reader response, the links from any columns I would write to other columnists, bloggers, and internet users.

Furthermore, hiring a blogger would mean little in the way of training on the mechanics of writing on the internet.  Since I do so every single day, I am well aware of how to use a variety of platforms, and would feel right at home almost immediately.

Finally, hiring a blogger would give Time immediate visibility and publicity.  It would attract a new and desired cohort to your readership as people might well check and see what, precisely, I might do for and in your venerable magazine.  It would create the kind of marketing buzz too few publications now have, as you made a daring move to include new voices more familiar with new technologies as well as various traditions already existing within the communities that discuss politics on the Internet.

The only requests I would make are two.  First, I would require complete editorial freedom as regards topics and approach.  While I certainly respect the right of editorial oversight regarding style, word limit, and appropriateness, I believe we as a nation are best served by as wide an array of viewpoints as possible.  With that in mind, I would only ask that I not be asked to approach subjects from any particular point of view.  Second, for the sake of my family, I would need to work from my home in rural Elgin, IL.  While the occasional visit to the offices in New York City would certainly be necessary, I see little reason to uproot my family and move to the New York Metropolitan Area.  The advent of the internet would seem to me to let this be the easier of the two requests I am making.

As of today, August 11, 2012, I have published 3,585 post at the following site: http://whatsleftinthechurch.blogspot.com  You may look through them at your leisure.  Consider these my clippings in my application.  Thank you in advance for your consideration.  If you have any questions, feel free to contact me via my email address, gksafford@yahoo.com, or my personal cell phone number, (XXX) XXX-XXXX.

Sincerely,

Geoffrey Kruse-Safford

Yes, I really did send this off to Time.  No, I don't expect them to take it seriously.