A new law set to come into effect on Nov. 1, will require all men in Oklahoma to reveal personal details regarding every sperm that they murder.
"Every year in Oklahoma, a googolplex of sperm die lonely deaths inside socks, in showers and other places," said Oklahoma spokeswoman Sally Kern. "This holocaust of the unborn must end."
It was only when I clicked a link that I realized it was a bit of turnabout on a new Oklahoma law that really does go in to effect soon regarding abortion.
For women in Sally Kern's state of Oklahoma, all your wombs are belong to us as of Nov. 1. A law will go into effect that will require that personal details about every single abortion performed in the state will be documented and placed online.
Here are the first eight questions that women will have to reveal:
1. Date of abortion
2. County in which abortion performed
3. Age of mother
4. Marital status of mother
(married, divorced, separated, widowed, or never married)
5. Race of mother
6. Years of education of mother
(specify highest year completed)
7. State or foreign country of residence of mother
8. Total number of previous pregnancies of the mother
Live Births
Miscarriages
Induced Abortions
After due consideration, I think a law stipulating that any act of spermicide be published online is a good and necessary thing. After all, male masturbation can lead one to become gay, along with blindness, insanity, and other hazards. In the name of public health, if nothing else, a public record of male self-abuse is a good thing.
The only thing I see creating serious problems would be the overload on servers as men report in, especially late on Friday and Saturday nights.
